Global Parody!

Contra 4

enslaven00bs — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:03:00 +0000

This is one of those games that I just have mixed feelings for. I love the game because it brings nostalgia and reminds me of the good old days of when I played Contra 3 on the SNES. I hate the game because it’s so fucking hard. The Contra series made number one on IGN’s Toughest games to beat. It is noted on the article that it is debatable which one is the hardest game in the series but I have a way of figuring that out. This chart that was used by Konami’s development staff to make sure the Contra sequels would hold a candle to the rest…

Contra: It’s hard but is possible to be with the Konami code.
Super C: This one is tough but I can pull it off
Contra Force (Not a real Contra game): Lets just slap the contra logo on a piece of shit… they won’t tell the difference.
Contra 3: Holy shit this is hard.
Contra 4: This is my 4th copy I went through today.

This game isn’t just hard. It redefined hard. Konami used the Dual Screen against us. This game requires you to look at both screens or you’re alien feces. Personally I don’t mind it but the one inch thick divider between the screens hide bullets and enemies.

After all the negative attention this game is completely amazing. It brings back the classic Contra we all loved in the past while mixing some of the good features of Contra 3 and throwing in some new kick ass features as well. In the Normal and Hard modes there are extra stages to play (assuming you can get there) and your weapons level up (not in Easy). If you manage to finish the games once you will unlock a challenge mode. Beating some of the challenges will get you goodies like the original Contra and Super C. Konami really put their heart into this game for all the Contra fans. This is a great game to top off 20 years of Contra. Fan of the series or not, this is a game you should have. YOU’LL BE DYING TO BEAT IT!!!

Playstation played on PC

enslaven00bs — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 18:10:02 +0000

I’m bored out of my mind and seeing as how no one else wants to contribute to the site here is another video. Before I got my PS2 (before the release of the shit-fest Dawn of Mana) I played all my Playstation games on my PC. I seriously spent $20 on the set up to play ALL my Playstation games with a PS2 control (I also use the control for other roms and what not). So I’m here to share my wisdom so you won’t have to waste your money on another Sony console again.

Music by Quactus.
http://www.myspace.com/quactus

Final Fantasy Legend

enslaven00bs — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:20:03 +0000

Final Fantasy games suck. Fortunately, this isn’t a final fantasy game. I decided to break away from the anger a bit and review a game I like. It may be a little boring but it gives good insight into what the game is like. It’s like 1AM so I wasn’t all there when I made this video.

I’ll put a review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in the near future so be on the look out.

iBook Clamshell

enslaven00bs — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:18:49 +0000

I decided to make my first review a Video Review. This is my first time doing a video for a review so you can have a ball making fun of me. Now this video isn’t supposed to be taken seriously at all but the review is accurate. If you think this review sucks don’t worry I’ll have a better typed one next time.

Edit:Here is proof of the display not working.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

Rohoku — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:14:27 +0000

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII is the newest addition to the Final Fantasy franchise developed solely by Square Enix. Crisis Core is the prequel game to the original final fantasy game for the Playstation. It stars Zack Fair, one of Clouds older soldier buddies from FFVI. This game is about Zack’s struggle to discover what the mysterious Shinra Company is doing.

The game play is somewhat of an action-rpg in the same category as Kingdom Hearts. Though action-rpgs are often given great reviews, Crisis Core is too automated. You’ll lock on to enemies without the touch of a button, and only click one button until the fight is over. The whole combat system is a breeze and simplistic, unlike the other FF games which are much more dynamic and intuitive.

Square Enix has incorporated a new aspect to the game; the Digital Mindwave System. Its like a slot machine of your party’s character’s faces. When they match up, they give you a special bonus move or power-up. Although creative, there is no way to enable or disable different moves. Not to mention, the developers still haven’t realized that some gamers would like to skip cinematics. Sadly, the dialog is poorly written and childish, and awkwardly delivered.

This game isn’t too terrible, it has a nice presence and presentation rarely seen in PSP Games. Combat scenes are something to note, and the in-game graphics are pushing the hardware limits. If you aren’t a hardcore fan of the series, I’d suggest straying far away.

4 out of 10

Don Imus

enslaven00bs — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:40:06 +0000

They are some Nappy Headed Hoes!

Test post

Dan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:03:47 +0000

This is a test post.

I love tits!